We always have a choice...whyyyy?

“We must all face the choice between what is right and what is easy.”-Dumbledore

 My Facebook page asks me 'What's on your mind?': How I wish I could have only a single thought on my mindscape.. so that I could put in one line clean and clear...

With thoughts running like untamed horses driving chariot...my mind is clouded with choices tearing it apart..
As I look back to the time from school to engineering, the clutter has always gone worse...I remember how spot on I was in school.
I remember passionately filing paper cuttings(i still have them), watching space exploration shows and taking notes, reading books and highlighting words with their oxford meanings, playing table tennis at school, chess with father and cricket practice at school and so much including studies and co-curricular activities... yet I had so much time...
I used to imagine myself joining army and being at border in Himalayas (used to play an imaginary mission and always won). I always wanted to work at NASA... but gave up the thought when I realized I cant be an Indian to do that.. I wanted to be a doctor but could not see blood (i still remember the yucccky dissected frog..waack)...I got my computer early on.. and I liked every bit of it.. initially it was all games and paint-brush

During engineering .. see how easy it was to decide then...I always admired Infosys, TCS and L&T as companies that I want to work for due to various reasons
Infosys was a natural choice because of Narayan Murthy(role model), TCS because of the legacy that Jamshedji Tata(i love parsis) left and L&T because of the founders(Larsen and Toubro) who gave everything to India and also because I have grown up watching L&T at Powai...
Among foreign companies.. I still want to work for Google...(no one needs a reason)

A part of me always wanted to work at the grassroots, doing farming, building bio-gas plants, wells...and I still know that I'll end up in a village only.... but that is an eventuality...

I started liking subjects and internet technologies and could see endless possibilities and solutions to problems..And now my mind is so cluttered that I cant even put the confusion in words...

I qualified for TISS rural development programme which would enable me to work directly at grassroots and implement.. here I would be able to test all my imaginary ways of solving problems and if possible provide a technological solution to accelerate change..(no one around me thinks this is the right choice)

I equally love programming, algorithms, data mining, AI, NLP and RFID and know the endless possibilities in which information, services can be organised and delivered..Very few organisations work directly in these areas.. IBM and Google ..I dont know of any....with exception of organisations using them for their application purposes only...

Everyone around me feels that I should be working in a company and gain technology experience and look at rural development at a very later stage...(I already feel I m late)

For the first time.. I m scared...seriously

I imagine working at grassroots and being able to build technology around my areas of interest is a synergy, which is so important if we have to change the world...
We cannot exist as technologists and managers and rural developers in separate baskets... we can exist as rivulets for gaining skills but we have to meet the river to be a part of the big picture.. to make impact.. to make a dent as Jobs says...

I am leaving it at this...I dont have conclusions... but will update definitely... and positively...
In the mean time.. I would appreciate.. your thoughts and feedback in general thanks